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Me, Myself & Irene
There are 24 sound clips.

Soundclip / File size

Hank: "You're gonna pick up that butt or do I have to glue it to the end of my shoe and stick it into your big fat pimply ay-hole?"
RealAudio: 13 KB; Wave: 88 KB
Charlie: "If I had to move to the Arctic and you could never come home and you had to eat whale blubber for the rest of your life, would you still stay with me?"
RealAudio: 15 KB; Wave: 100 KB
Charlie: "How's my little guy doin'?"
Shonté Jr.: "Strugglin'. This quantum physics is confusing. If I don't buckle down, I'm gonna get myself another B+."
RealAudio: 15 KB; Wave: 104 KB
Hank: "Sound good, candypants."
RealAudio: 5 KB; Wave: 21 KB
Captain: "Why didn't you take a vacation when Layla left?"
Charlie: "Why... why would I? Wives leave their husbands everyday in this country... It's no reason to short change the department... it's not like I had the flue!..."
RealAudio: 30 KB; Wave: 214 KB
Charlie: "But you said you'd eat whale blubber!"
Shonté: "She'll be eating blubber allright, just as soon as I free Willy."
RealAudio: 15 KB; Wave: 100 KB
Hank: "I wasn't gonna just... ram it home, you know. I was gonna... lub it up and ease it in there, inch by inch, like a gentleman."
RealAudio: 20 KB; Wave: 144 KB
Charlie: "Come on girl, on to greener pastures!"
RealAudio: 18 KB; Wave: 121 KB
Doctor: "It's a boy!!... Ohh... boy-oy-oyyyh..."
RealAudio: 17 KB; Wave: 111 KB
Shonté: "You think just coz I'm small you can just push me around? Well, come on my friend, lets boogie, I'm gonna give you a little lesson in low center of gravity!"
RealAudio: 18 KB; Wave: 125 KB
Charlie: "I've never said anything remotely racist!"
Shonté: "Oooh, so it's the little people thing, than??"
RealAudio: 13 KB; Wave: 80 KB
Hank: "Name's Hank, Hank Evans... for the little girrls!"
RealAudio: 15 KB; Wave: 92 KB
Hank: "Well, fuck my ozone!"
RealAudio: 5 KB; Wave: 28 KB
Charlie: "I'm, I'm probably just being paranoid here, but I get the feeling that the entire town is laughing at me behind my back!"
Priest: "Charlie?! Is that you??"
RealAudio: 28 KB; Wave: 205 KB
Charlie: "I have to take a pill every six hours or I feel... funny. No big deal."
Irene: "What's it called?"
Charlie: "Advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage."
RealAudio: 26 KB; Wave: 181 KB
Hank: "Look, I'm not here to twist your nibblets, I'm here to save your life, but if I'm gonna do that I'll need total unianonanymity."
RealAudio: 17 KB; Wave: 107 KB
Charlie: "Hey, cut it! Stop it now! Sir!!"
Shonté: "Don't patronize me with that 'Sir' crap!!"
RealAudio: 13 KB; Wave: 84 KB
Hank: "You know, I think you're a very special unit."
Irene: "That's sweet."
Hank: "I hope we get to know each other better."
Irene: "Yeah, me too."
Hank: "Do you swallow?"
RealAudio: 24 KB; Wave: 180 KB
Hank: "I feel your fear. It's coming through like static on my heart radio."
RealAudio: 11 KB; Wave: 67 KB
Hank: "Look... just because I rock, doesn't mean I'm made of stone."
RealAudio: 13 KB; Wave: 80 KB
Hank: "Vagiclean, uh? What's the matter honey, a little extra cheese on the taco?"
RealAudio: 13 KB; Wave: 76 KB
Irene: "Calling that cop was unbelievably stupid!"
Hank: "Woa, woa, woa, wooa. Tweak the high end on your emotional EQ, sweetpeak. The funky chicken was Charlie's dance. I'm a tango man myself."
RealAudio: 28 KB; Wave: 207 KB
Hank: "Yeah, I'm talking to you, you toxic waste of life."
RealAudio: 7 KB; Wave: 34 KB
Charlie: "Wow... it's so... Wow!!!"
RealAudio: 20 KB; Wave: 141 KB